i'm sitting here listening to the two towers' soundtrack. i think i write
just so i have something to do while listening to good music. you guys know what
i mean right ? if you put on a good cd, you can't really think about maths and
shite- if you close your eyes for too long you fall asleep, so the best thing to
do is to just sit and think- with the headphones on- and better still- type.
so i digress, here is my analysis of essential trilogy things.
good trilogies must have a kick ass soundtrack. if there's one good thing about
"professional (snigger) wrestling", its the fact that each wrestler
has his own theme. and that goes for good movie characters. shaft had it.
the pulp fiction guys have it. batman has it. superman had
it. mission impossible dudes had it. x-files dudes had it. but the
kick ass thing about themes in trilogies is the way as the sequels come along,
the theme music builds up. like anakin's theme building on from the imperial
march aka darth vader's theme. lord of the rings did a f*cking good
job with this- the sam and frodo theme, the rohirrim themes, the aragorn and
arwen theme etc. X-Men's soundtrack really really really needs a rework.
good trilogies have to have the essense of religious fanaticism. i mean- good
movies are like good dinners- not too scarce. but what makes a movie a cult
classic is something different altogether. and the top cult classics are- the
trilogies that sparked off into religious fanaticism- you've heard the rumours
about jedi-ism being a recognised religion in new zealand- (i'm pretty sure its
true actually)- and so- although never in a million years would i recognise
harry potter as anything close to a good trilogy, you gotta give a hand to ms.
rowling for her foresight in making the wizard shite- semi gospel.
cannot stress this enough. the entire aliens trilogy only had one chick
and look how well it did considering the thin plot. (i personally do not find
sigourney weaver that attractive, but compared to them butt ugly aliens...
anything goes..). peter jackson knew he couldnt get away with 3 movies if arwen
only appeared in the 3rd movie (if he had followed the original books) and that
is why- liv tyler's face is on all the posters while sam-THE essential
character, reported co-author of the lord of the rings- some argue he IS the
Lord of the Ring, is pretty much forgotten in many of the publicity posters. but
no biggie- liv tyler might've looked weird with them ears but geek worshippers
who had been weaned on 1970s Princess "bunns-for-hair" Leia saw it as
a positive thing. and so you see- if harry potter had a hotter chick- (the
current one really looks like she's got a bad hair day and menstrual cramps- AND
thick eyebrows) it might've stood a chance.
merchandising is not just
profitable for film companies- its pretty damn essential. your movie is NOTHING
if no merchandise company has made an official lunchbox, toilet roll and squishy
doll with it. at least have a patent hairstyle or costume ala- the shades and
trenchcoat in the matrix, the side burns and afro in pulp fiction,
yellow jumpsuit in kill bill- big motherf*cking S -sign in superman.
something that'll catch on and haunt halloween fancy dress dance floors forever.
and finally- *one
now this is easy- easy and f*cking difficult at the same time. how do you write
into a movie a one liner that'll stick ? as lame as "i'll be back"
was, you just know one day 20 years from now, you might be watching your 10 year
old son playing with his friends and muttering those god-awful lines along with
"may the force be with you", "my precious" and "he is
the one". for some reason, audiences like things being repeated to
them. say it a couple of times and its unoriginal, repeat it every other scene
and its a catch phrase. go figure.
any other ideas ?