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Analysing Trilogies

i'm sitting here listening to the two towers' soundtrack. i think i write just so i have something to do while listening to good music. you guys know what i mean right ? if you put on a good cd, you can't really think about maths and shite- if you close your eyes for too long you fall asleep, so the best thing to do is to just sit and think- with the headphones on- and better still- type. 

so i digress, here is my analysis of essential trilogy things.

good trilogies must have a kick ass soundtrack. if there's one good thing about "professional (snigger) wrestling", its the fact that each wrestler has his own theme. and that goes for good movie characters. shaft had it. the pulp fiction guys have it. batman has it. superman had it. mission impossible dudes had it. x-files dudes had it. but the kick ass thing about themes in trilogies is the way as the sequels come along, the theme music builds up. like anakin's theme building on from the imperial march aka darth vader's theme. lord of the rings did a f*cking good job with this- the sam and frodo theme, the rohirrim themes, the aragorn and arwen theme etc. X-Men's soundtrack really really really needs a rework. 

good trilogies have to have the essense of religious fanaticism. i mean- good movies are like good dinners- not too scarce. but what makes a movie a cult classic is something different altogether. and the top cult classics are- the trilogies that sparked off into religious fanaticism- you've heard the rumours about jedi-ism being a recognised religion in new zealand- (i'm pretty sure its true actually)- and so- although never in a million years would i recognise harry potter as anything close to a good trilogy, you gotta give a hand to ms. rowling for her foresight in making the wizard shite- semi gospel.

the chick*
cannot stress this enough. the entire aliens trilogy only had one chick and look how well it did considering the thin plot. (i personally do not find sigourney weaver that attractive, but compared to them butt ugly aliens... anything goes..). peter jackson knew he couldnt get away with 3 movies if arwen only appeared in the 3rd movie (if he had followed the original books) and that is why- liv tyler's face is on all the posters while sam-THE essential character, reported co-author of the lord of the rings- some argue he IS the Lord of the Ring, is pretty much forgotten in many of the publicity posters. but no biggie- liv tyler might've looked weird with them ears but geek worshippers who had been weaned on 1970s Princess "bunns-for-hair" Leia saw it as a positive thing. and so you see- if harry potter had a hotter chick- (the current one really looks like she's got a bad hair day and menstrual cramps- AND thick eyebrows) it might've stood a chance. 

gadgets & props*
merchandising is not just profitable for film companies- its pretty damn essential. your movie is NOTHING if no merchandise company has made an official lunchbox, toilet roll and squishy doll with it. at least have a patent hairstyle or costume ala- the shades and trenchcoat in the matrix, the side burns and afro in pulp fiction, yellow jumpsuit in kill bill- big motherf*cking S -sign in superman. something that'll catch on and haunt halloween fancy dress dance floors forever. 

and finally- *
one liners*
now this is easy- easy and f*cking difficult at the same time. how do you write into a movie a one liner that'll stick ? as lame as "i'll be back" was, you just know one day 20 years from now, you might be watching your 10 year old son playing with his friends and muttering those god-awful lines along with "may the force be with you", "my precious" and "he is the one".  for some reason, audiences like things being repeated to them. say it a couple of times and its unoriginal, repeat it every other scene and its a catch phrase. go figure. 

any other ideas ?



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