'friday i'm running- to
sunday on my knees'
relief floods in as big
time decisions work out in my favour. i spent the weekend clearing my
head, changing the look of thisplace and fighting battles in my sleep.
i've also cleared up my files, cds and most of my room. went through my U2
and Radiohead video cds i got off the internet. also went through the
RockTheWorld3 VCD i brought over. music is running thick in my veins right
now, thrusting through my flesh, but can't seem to find a proper outlet
yet. i need to write but there seems to be a dullness in my soul that's
keeping me down.
seems a little silly but
after refurbishing this site and all, i feel like taking a brief hiatus
away. there's a wind blowing inside, cleansing and re-arranging things.
i'm tired of the stagnant parts of my life. it's time to walk away for
some fresh air now that i can breathe again...
deep breaths now
big time decisions scare me [/understatement]
sambunn in town
spent sunday taking sam,
pam and hairy around the city. seedy soho and hyper excited gymnasts don't
quite go together.
sam in her chirpy loud
voice : why's it so dirty ? [pointing to a latex vagina she just fingered]
pam in her matter of fact
tone : coz its been fingered by everyone.
took them the usual route i
take most visiting friends. holborn (forbidden planet, fopp, random nice
shops) - chinatown (phonecards, chinese pastries) - soho (amsterdam-ish
stuff) - coventgarden (best *free* entertainment in town).
waitingwaitingwaiting for kat to get her feline butt over...
imagery - marketboy
boy , garden
"...been used, i've
been on the evening news"
its been a tiring first
week back. today i took a break of sorts. watched tv, had ice-cream, let
the worry slide away like raspberry syrup down frozen vanilla cream, while
accompanying my sister in her marathon Law&Order and CSI
runs and flipping through copies of the Economist.
found a few amusing things-
one was the huge apology blurb the magazine was forced to put for Mr.
LeeKuanYew and Co. after an article about Temasek's annual report hinted
at the minister mentor's alleged nepotism practices.
another was a quote from
Janet Jackson, complaining about how her "breast popping
incident" earlier in the year was played up by President Bush's
publicists in order to draw away media attention from negative reports
at first glance i thought
her statement was completely naive and delusional, but seriously now, what
if it's true ? in journalism, there are no rules. i've seen how editors
blank out or hype up controversial news on a whim. i've seen how
little things like putting a 2x2 inch colour picture with caption can
increase the chances of certain columns being read and increase the
chances of other columns being ignored. you'd think that these things
don't matter, but in reality, headlines and stock market movements often
go hand in hand. information is currency. in the war between ethics and
vested interests, ideals are always a casualty.
my boy and his blanket
note, it's late and my room's feels empty without the furball at the edge
of my bed. kat hasn't bathed him for a week now as his immune system's
still down after getting his shots. poor smelly fella.
floating like cannonballs
'still a little bit
of your taste in my mouth / still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
/ still a little hard to say, what's going on ? ... still a little bit of
your face, i haven't kissed...'
why are the greatest
difficulties we encounter always spawned from within ?
you know how when you believe that life is all a perfect balance of
happiness and sadness, triumph and disaster ? the perfect balance of it
all doesn't always make the downside of things any easier to get through.
all that's left to do is keep holding on to the ball, waiting for it to
roll off you and waiting for the upturn.
only thing is, the ball won't roll off on its own.
another successful suicide in the world. in case you're wondering, this
paragraph has nothing to do with the cannonballs section. there's been a
death in my extended family and i barely knew her. still, another young
life snuffed out by lost hope. god bless her soul.
never enough time to record
the moments. its only when things are quiet again that you find yourself
in an empty room, trying to recall where the days went and your only link
to the almost forgotten moments lie in the little sentences hastily put
together in thisguysarchives.
[i promise you, i'm working on my digital collage making
skills...bear with me]*
trying a little kindness
kindness- it's like a foreign concept to some people who can't fathom
the idea of going a little bit out of your way to cut a stranger some
slack. then again, just when you think everyone is out to get you, you
come across the most unlikely angels in disguise. giving you that extra
bit of help, that extra bit of hope.
have you done / witnessed something kind
taking time to enjoy the little things before sunday finds its way too
soon. things like washing the car, roaming the suburbs with kat, messing
with my puppy, teasing my mom, blasting my dad's new speakers with
soundtrack music, etc. will get around to having a go at my electric
guitar soon too. if you live anywhere in my area, it'd be a good idea to
be somewhere else tomorrow evening.
ThisGuysPlace GMAIL INVITE
i have a few invites to give away and i thought it'd be nice to spoil
some of you who make it a point to visit thisguysplace
sporadic updates. so if you'd like one just comment in the lil speak
place below and i'll send you your invite soon.
Gunung Ledang Review
our time is running out.
yes it's been a semi hiatus. no it was not planned. august came without
approaching. it's fleeting by even faster than june. my time at jalan
dungun then jalan tun perak is over and i'm racing in slow motion to make
the most of what little is left before i return to face the shit on the
i've updated my
links section. a few of my most interesting friends showing their
more interesting sides online. i link them mostly to help me keep track of
their sites online lest i forget their addresses and come online without
more bad news arrived today. it's a freak coincidence that i blog on
bad days. then again, bad days are more frequent of late. i'm determined
to maintain composure. i will take what's coming gracefully. i'm stronger
than most think i am. i've come to learn that being and seeming fine is
easy. the hard part is staying in focus and not running away mentally from
the things we don't want to face.
things that happened in
august i never got around to mentioning here:
-that awesome weekend we
stole away to penang.
-the german berhaus
-that night my two indian
friends fell from grace
-the departure of the hairy
-my maybank tower skulking
-almost interviewing tony
-dinner with her
...pics and maybe
elaboration of all of the above later. also coming soon- reviews of the
village and the passion of christ...