archives

august-september 2004

260904 0017GMT

hopelessness in haiti and darfur

'why don't the newscasters cry when they read about people who die? at least they could be decent enough to put a tear in their eyes'

thousands dying and you're not sure how to react. then you sit and blink as the anchormen shuffle their notes and you realise how lucky you are. two seconds later you realise how unfair it all is.

please click

collect 200 and go

on a cheerier note, i totally trashed my flatmates at monopoly tonight. had indian papadoms with mango chutney and soursauce and homemade mango lassi for desert. i really am spending too much time indoors- mostly because the weather these days is shite, cold and pissy, (pissy is my description of the type of rain which is less than a drizzle, enough to get in your face and eyes and annoys the shit out of you). anyone up for a photo-friendly walk by the river sometime this week ?

230904 1333GMT

insomnia

i've been having trouble sleeping early. trying to get my body clock to start ticking earlier in the morning, but for some reason i can't fall asleep untill about 3am these days. i swear my mind is totally awake even though my body's ready to shutdown. it's the weirdest thing to float in semi-reality, where your brain is thinking up the most complex thoughts and you're not sure what to do with them. next thing you know it's almost noon and you wake up with your brain soggy like a wet table cloth and spilt non-sensical dreams you only half remember.

update- reviews- hero

gimme a while to transfer all the files here to the new design template. still not 100% happy with the way this one looks. if you're curious, have a look at beta versions 1 & 2 - and tell me which you like better ?

190904 0032GMT

'friday i'm running- to sunday on my knees'

relief floods in as big time decisions work out in my favour. i spent the weekend clearing my head, changing the look of thisplace and fighting battles in my sleep. i've also cleared up my files, cds and most of my room. went through my U2 and Radiohead video cds i got off the internet. also went through the RockTheWorld3 VCD i brought over. music is running thick in my veins right now, thrusting through my flesh, but can't seem to find a proper outlet yet. i need to write but there seems to be a dullness in my soul that's keeping me down.

seems a little silly but after refurbishing this site and all, i feel like taking a brief hiatus away. there's a wind blowing inside, cleansing and re-arranging things. i'm tired of the stagnant parts of my life. it's time to walk away for some fresh air now that i can breathe again...

190904 0032GMT

'friday i'm running- to sunday on my knees'

130904 0107GMT

deep breaths now

[understatement] big time decisions scare me [/understatement]

sambunn in town

spent sunday taking sam, pam and hairy around the city. seedy soho and hyper excited gymnasts don't quite go together.

sam in her chirpy loud voice : why's it so dirty ? [pointing to a latex vagina she just fingered]

pam in her matter of fact tone : coz its been fingered by everyone.

took them the usual route i take most visiting friends. holborn (forbidden planet, fopp, random nice shops) - chinatown (phonecards, chinese pastries) - soho (amsterdam-ish stuff) - coventgarden (best *free* entertainment in town). waitingwaitingwaiting for kat to get her feline butt over...

updates : imagery - marketboy , [v] boy , garden colours

090904 0017GMT

"...been used, i've been on the evening news"

its been a tiring first week back. today i took a break of sorts. watched tv, had ice-cream, let the worry slide away like raspberry syrup down frozen vanilla cream, while accompanying my sister in her marathon Law&Order and CSI runs and flipping through copies of the Economist.

found a few amusing things- one was the huge apology blurb the magazine was forced to put for Mr. LeeKuanYew and Co. after an article about Temasek's annual report hinted at the minister mentor's alleged nepotism practices.

another was a quote from Janet Jackson, complaining about how her "breast popping incident" earlier in the year was played up by President Bush's publicists in order to draw away media attention from negative reports from Iraq.

at first glance i thought her statement was completely naive and delusional, but seriously now, what if it's true ? in journalism, there are no rules. i've seen how editors blank out or hype up controversial news on a whim. i've seen how little things like putting a 2x2 inch colour picture with caption can increase the chances of certain columns being read and increase the chances of other columns being ignored. you'd think that these things don't matter, but in reality, headlines and stock market movements often go hand in hand. information is currency. in the war between ethics and vested interests, ideals are always a casualty.

my boy and his blanket

on another note, it's late and my room's feels empty without the furball at the edge of my bed. kat hasn't bathed him for a week now as his immune system's still down after getting his shots. poor smelly fella.

080904 1847GMT

floating like cannonballs

'still a little bit of your taste in my mouth / still a little bit of you laced with my doubt / still a little hard to say, what's going on ? ... still a little bit of your face, i haven't kissed...'

why are the greatest difficulties we encounter always spawned from within ?

you know how when you believe that life is all a perfect balance of happiness and sadness, triumph and disaster ? the perfect balance of it all doesn't always make the downside of things any easier to get through. all that's left to do is keep holding on to the ball, waiting for it to roll off you and waiting for the upturn.

only thing is, the ball won't roll off on its own.

...killed herself

another successful suicide in the world. in case you're wondering, this paragraph has nothing to do with the cannonballs section. there's been a death in my extended family and i barely knew her. still, another young life snuffed out by lost hope. god bless her soul.

minding minutes

never enough time to record the moments. its only when things are quiet again that you find yourself in an empty room, trying to recall where the days went and your only link to the almost forgotten moments lie in the little sentences hastily put together in thisguysarchives.

[i promise you, i'm working on my digital collage making skills...bear with me]*

trying a little kindness

kindness- it's like a foreign concept to some people who can't fathom the idea of going a little bit out of your way to cut a stranger some slack. then again, just when you think everyone is out to get you, you come across the most unlikely angels in disguise. giving you that extra bit of help, that extra bit of hope.

have you done / witnessed something kind today ?

010904 1740GMT/0040KLT

wednesday

taking time to enjoy the little things before sunday finds its way too soon. things like washing the car, roaming the suburbs with kat, messing with my puppy, teasing my mom, blasting my dad's new speakers with soundtrack music, etc. will get around to having a go at my electric guitar soon too. if you live anywhere in my area, it'd be a good idea to be somewhere else tomorrow evening.

ThisGuysPlace GMAIL INVITE GIVEAWAYS

i have a few invites to give away and i thought it'd be nice to spoil some of you who make it a point to visit thisguysplace despite the sporadic updates. so if you'd like one just comment in the lil speak place below and i'll send you your invite soon.

Update : Puteri Gunung Ledang Review

230804 1647GMT/2347KLT

our time is running out.

yes it's been a semi hiatus. no it was not planned. august came without approaching. it's fleeting by even faster than june. my time at jalan dungun then jalan tun perak is over and i'm racing in slow motion to make the most of what little is left before i return to face the shit on the fan.

i've updated my links section. a few of my most interesting friends showing their more interesting sides online. i link them mostly to help me keep track of their sites online lest i forget their addresses and come online without my laptop.

more bad news arrived today. it's a freak coincidence that i blog on bad days. then again, bad days are more frequent of late. i'm determined to maintain composure. i will take what's coming gracefully. i'm stronger than most think i am. i've come to learn that being and seeming fine is easy. the hard part is staying in focus and not running away mentally from the things we don't want to face.

things that happened in august i never got around to mentioning here:

-that awesome weekend we stole away to penang.

-the german berhaus episode

-that night my two indian friends fell from grace

-the departure of the hairy one

-my maybank tower skulking

-almost interviewing tony "airasia" fernandes

-dinner with her [extended] family

...pics and maybe elaboration of all of the above later. also coming soon- reviews of the village and the passion of christ...