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october 2004

291004   1844GMT 

now that's guitararr

catch yahoo! launch's john mayer-citylove live clip and if you tell me again that john mayer is for pussies, i'll tell you that you should stop letting mtv's packaging dictate your appreciation of music.

dead birds

i had a weird dream about laying down in a field. there is a single tree at the top of a small hill. and all around me there are black birds. i blink and look around again and they are all dead. like lots of them. and i'm trying to figure out how they died. then i look around again and some different smaller white birds are pecking at their carcasses. i think this represents change? a friend of mine says it represents newfound freedom.

281004   1844GMT 


location - public computer room

scene - selfish old man sits down next to me and opens the window wide. we are in a room above a pub. cold english late-autumn chills, and pub fags and noisy drunk english noise fills the room. 

i turn to him and ask him if he could please close the window. he says no. he says he's afraid of getting sick if he sits in a room with strangers and no ventilation. i am stunned. i sit for awhile and do my work. my fingers get cold and ten minutes later, i ask him again if he can close the window. he still does not. he says everytime he works in this computer room he gets sick. so he's ventilating the room. i say softly but clearly and look him in the eye. 

maybe its karma

one minute later and he slowly closes the window. this is the proudest moment of my day. which, i agree, is very sad on my part. 

in other news- i think my sister has won some money in the national lottery. not much. but still. now i want to play. halloween is around the corner. jay the gay is coming to town next week. sambunn is appearing in a music video by the band - the needles - i've never heard of them either. oh, and vote- LJ! rar.

oh and - more treats- angry kid 2

251004   1636GMT 

mon-fecking-day profanity alert!

deadlines team up with fucked up wireless connection, pussy-fied printers, asshole-ish elevators, stupid secretary- office hours, broken staplers and vanishing floppy disks have really made my monday.

i finally get through through the hell and am now seeking solace in the (relatively) safe havens of the internet, where my mediaplayer, familiar sites and kat and her digital sweet self can soothe me.  

the luncheon with happygenerousrecruiters was a blast. i am so set on a career in consulting now. i've also more or less fallen in love with the company. still- i'm far from employable and even further away from being employed as yet. at least now i have a better view of where i'm headed.

new* - there's a new super spanky domain in town and it's called -stay tuned for further developments! 

221004   1806GMT 


in the spirit of trustno1 and because thisguysplace strives to serve you the most controversial conspiracies out there every once in a while, - read this : Skulls and Bones and Bush and Kerry and let your imagination form up the rest. seriously... stuff movies could be made of!

the media and failure with responsibilities 101

goto -

JONSTEWART(while "lecturing" CNN's Crossfire team): You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

JONSTEWART: You need to go to one.

i really admire people with the ability to think that fast under fire. [the weblink is courtesy of a friend of mine doing a major in journalism] spread awareness people, we can all have our own beliefs and agendas, but tragedy is indifference and ignorance.

in other matters, i'm going for a posh lunch hosted by happygenerousrecruiters (not their real name) in bayswater tomorrow. looking forward to the spread but will most likely be too pressured/nervous to really dig in... shame yea? also,  earlier today i wrote a really bad post about my suspected multiple personality disorder and decided not to put it up. how is everyone?  

201004   0108GMT 

summer music

you never really know your summer soundtrack until it comes back to smack you in the face and stimulate your senses like a tweak of a nipple in autumn. it's never really songs you'd expect to associate yourself with but the memories they carry with them, the scenes you'd give up your last pair of clean underwear to experience again - overshadow the cheesiness of it all.

for me, fronting summer 2003's list was r.kelly's ignition (it's the freaking weekend and i'm gonna have me some fun), sean paul - get busy, beyonce - baby girl, naked breed - afraid

summer 2004 comes back to life in technicolour glory with the whiff of any one of these :- usher- burn (what am i gonna do without my boo?) britney spears - everytime, disagree - crumbs & pooch, maroon 5 - she will be loved, hoobastank - the reason (overplayed gila!), ashlee simpson - pieces of me

like i said, not lists that i'm absolutely proud of, but i blame it on malaysian mtv/radio inbreeding and too much time spent in traffic jams.

thisguysplace band of the month-   snow patrol !  - i'm so grateful for the coincidence that out of the few stations i can pick up on my room radio, virginfm is one of them. mellow madness! rarr  

151004   0106GMT popular in college as a yeast infection

been a blurry week. haven't been working hard enough, yet seem to be getting through most of my assignments anyway. 

finished up the refurbishment of thisplace [check out the new imagery section] and seem to need a new creative outlet. i'm stuck with editing/re-editing/reading photos/notes/poetry of eons ago, rather than coming up with new ones. stuck with listening to too much of the same music rather than making some. you get the picture. this lethargy is getting to me.

on the flipside, school work is slightly more interesting these days.

being a third year student's only perks seem to be getting wiser and less of a gullible git and knowing your way around the system better. otherwise, i just feel old and so out of the picture. with my academic days numbered, i'm starting to appreciate each assignment and each new friend a lot more.

newly acquired loot :  

from career fairs- funky highlighters, beer, digital radios, misc. pens, sweets, mints, keychains/bottleopeners

from limewire- john mayer's version of babylon and davidgray's acoustic version.     (i never really liked the song at all until coming to london. suddenly the lyrics make sense)

from uni itservices- mozilla firefox browser package (I still prefer IE but it's default settings are stopping me from getting on the school wifi network)

from noisemonkeys- damn dirty apes free downloads- rebel scum and dream get it here - 

091004   2236GMT 

displaced, disguised... and back again

the past few days have been queer. almost in a dreamlike state, my feet weren't quite under me. displacement is a dangerous thing. 

oddly enough, its the alcohol that sobers me up today. the heat rushing up my neck is a good reminder that my head is indeed, in fact, on. deewei spent the night yesterday. we had an interesting conversation about how, when he first came over to england, he thought he would hate it, but is now set on working here and staying for good. whereas, i had always thought i'd love it here and never want to leave, but now, can't wait to call it a day.

went through the usual saturday routines of calling home, grocery shopping and chinatown food. met up with my sister's colleague and ended up in a bar off regent street, indulging in afternoon pre-happy hour drinks. such a british thing to do. conversations, gossip, worries and mirth ensued. i realise i do like it here. i just don't want to be stuck here, or for that matter anywhere. 

mobility. there's a difference between being mobile and being displaced.  

061004   0137GMT 

everyone... everyone is so near

if you haven't done so already, go download radiohead's live video of national anthem- fucken hell it's awesome!

051004   1155GMT 

take me away

school assignments have started coming in and i'm pretty happy to get back to work. it's about time to sleep and my mind's wandering.

i think back about how summers fly by. i try to picture myself  back in the open field that night, bare chested and sweating in the glow of cheap light bulbs, strung around the campsite, me perched on a tower of timber legs, listening to the sounds of the highway and midnight insects as boys scrambled around to put the finishing touches to our scouts campfire. although being in the company of a few dozen odd sweaty grunts is hardly pleasing, there's a rare calm and peace that comes with digging holes in the ground in the dead of the night.

a few years ago, i went to the huge drowned jungle dam in the middle of nowhere in the rainforest reserve. after a day of trekking and paddling in the water, febstar, sarut and i laid down on our raft- five bamboo sticks afloat on the water staring up at the evening sky. just dreaming. all around us the tips of fifty-foot trees peeking out of the water, telling us forgotten secrets of time and space.   

i remember the island trip and staying up till sunrise to get caught in the first waves of the morning, shivering in the cold but chest high in the sea waiting for the island to wake up. 

i wonder when the next time will be when i feel truly alive again. 

031004   0009GMT 


just finished a bout of animated dvd screenings with david. another typical saturday of chinatown grub, grocery shopping, pints at the local and a good (albeit tipsy) chat with her. had ck stay over for the past few nights and it's nice to have the room all to myself again. there's a steady pitter patter rain outside- a proper heavy drizzle for once and i'm typing alone in my lamplight. 

school starts again for (probably, hopefully, maybe) the last time in my life, on monday. the worse september of my life has come and gone. i've cleared my head and i realise in all the recent hoo-ha i've been pretty self absorbed with things. how is everyone? 

i watched a movie called Liar (starring Tim Roth & Renee Zellweger) on friday night by accident. Was just flipping channels and got absorbed into this usual-suspects-style movie. if anyone out there has seen it, could we please discuss the ending- i'm not quite sure if i've got it. 

also, i'm getting pretty hooked on the L Word (the lesbian sex and LA city). it's almost soap opera-ish, but the gratuitous nudi-titty fest and plot twists are pretty compelling. i've often wondered if i'm a lesbian trapped in a male's body- does that even make sense?


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